Demoscopology at the Beach

        I spent this past weekend at the beach with great friends.  The Delaware beaches are the best I've ever been to, (not that I've been to that many) - not too crowded, but just populated enough for good people-watching.  I am an avid people-watcher.  I recently adopted the term demoscopology for this odd hobby when I came across an interesting entry in the Urban Thesaurus: "Demoscope -\dē-mäs-skōp\ - To covertly examine the interactions of human subjects in a natural setting" (urbandictionary.com).  When I go out to eat, I'm way more interested in what is going on at other tables - I like to listen to conversations - even if, actually especially if, they are personal.  I've watched and listened to strangers break up, get engaged, all that milestone stuff that people usually do in restaurants.  I even listen to people talking when they are just walking by - like at the mall or a flea market or something.  Sometimes those are the best - little nuggets of strange conversation without any context.  Once, at a diner, I eavesdropped on a conversation that lasted longer than an hour.  I actually asked my boyfriend not to talk to me until we got in the car.  A little mean, I know, but this one was gold.  It was a meeting between two older men who had never met before.  One was writing a book about aliens and UFO's, and the other man was saying that his dog had been abducted from his yard the day before.  The writer asked the guy if he had looked for his dog and he answered that he knew exactly where he was so there was no point in searching.  The writer said that he was exactly right and and that canvassing the neighborhood for the dog would be a waste of time.  This was the most interesting point in the conversation, and the only part that really stuck in my memory, but it was good stuff.  The beach is the best place for people-watching, I'm not exactly sure why.  Maybe because of the exhibitionism that goes on at the beach, and exposing more of yourself than usual in public seems to do strange things to people.  It makes some self-conscious while it makes others overly confident.  This makes for odd behavior that is entertaining as hell to watch.

        Beach demoscopology is divided between two major areas.  First area of interest is the sand - where you first encounter all the different types of people on the beach.  There are the people embarrassed to show too much skin - they stay pretty stationary and fiddle with their suits a lot.  Then there is the group that obviously wishes they were wearing less clothing - they stroll up and down the beach and play games like volleyball and Frisbee, so as to show off their rippling pecs and abs.  Then there is the group that hates the sun like poison but are on the beach anyway.  They pitch tents in the sand, wear long-sleeve shirts and smear their faces with zinc oxide.  Then there is the flock of elderly women who just don't care anymore and are going to enjoy the beach no matter what they look like - maybe for the first time in their lives - these ladies are usually my favorite.  A few years ago I got a great picture of a group of 4 ladies standing in circle, trying out belly dancing moves that one had learned in a class.  Don't know what happened to that picture.  A real tragedy.                                                                                                          
        The second, and much better area of interest is the water, of course.  This is where people don't feel as self-conscious and inhibited.  They splash around and act like little kids, or the couples get really randy.  The boogy-boarders are always good for a laugh.  It's fun for anyone to watch complete strangers wipe out and go skidding down the beach on their chin.  Good wholesome fun for all.  Then there is everyone's favorite - the wave induced wardrobe malfunction.  I was the victim of this over the weekend for the second time in my life - almost as embarrassing as the first.  Everyone knows what I'm talking about - people -usually girls, due to the fact that suits these days are made with and held together by materials akin to dental floss - jump through a wave that pulls their bottoms down (or off in extreme cases) and gives tops a mind and agenda of their own.  A few years ago I was on a family vacation on Chincoteague Island in Virginia.  So I'm splashing around in the water, jumping waves with my sisters, when one knocks me down and I stand up - facing the beach with most of my family on it - sans top!  I was completely unaware of the fact until my uncle made a strange hand gesture and I look down to find my chest exposed and my top floating in water a few feet away.  Great.  Everyone promised they didn't see anything, but I know they were lying.  To this day, I still can't figure out if the witnesses being family made more or less humiliating.  This trip, I fell victim to the other kind of malfunction.  I didn't completely lose my bottoms, and my butt was facing the water this time, but I definitely gave a few people a free little show.  I'm going to invent a bikini that comes with suspenders to prevent this kind of thing from happening.  Maybe I will become a millionaire!  Fingers crossed.